Monday 16 January 2012

The Tiger Who Came to Tea: a Mum on the Edge

While reading The Tiger Who Came to Tea to my daughter recently, it dawned on me that it's actually the allegorical tale of a Stay at Home Mum who's had one of those days.

I've been that woman. I know how her day went. October half-term. Raining. She's run out of let's-have-fun things to do with her daughter, Sophie, who's been playing the part of spoilt little witch perfectly since she woke at 5.30am. The man who came to fix the broken floorboard hammered a nail through the mains water pipe. Now the water's off 'til next Wednesday 'at least'. The milk's off too. No tea! She has the energy of a dead battery and can't face Tesco. She certainly can't be arsed to tidy the kitchen. She feels frumpy and tired, and she's just listened to a voicemail from school-friend, Clare, who's been nominated for an award from the Society of International Journalism for her gripping account of the plight of three freedom-fighting, cave-dwelling female rebels who've overthrown a vicious dictator using only pointy sticks. By now it's clear she's made the wrong life choices and if someone offered to buy Sophie, right now, she'd do it for a packet of grapes and fifty pence. She's at her wit's end and finally resorts to 'just one of Daddy’s beers'. When six o’clock hits she realises with a thump to her stomach she's polished off all four. Now she can't even drive to the garage to pick up some pasta and pesto for tea. She slumps on to the kitchen table and bursts into tears. 


"Mummy?" says Sophie quietly. "Why are you sad?"
Mummy lifts her head and tries to smile. Sophie wipes away her mum's tears with her little pudgy hands. "I love you, Mummy."


And then Mummy remembers that even though her mind is jelly, her body is shot to pieces, and she'll have to pick up the phone and congratulate Clare in a minute, she loves Sophie with all her heart. So she straightens her shoulders, forces a smile, and pulls Sophie on to her lap. She tells her the reason she is sad is because the house is a tip, there's no food, and no water in the tap, and this is because a huge tiger, who plays a trumpet and walks on his hind legs, came and ate and drank it ALL! He messed up the kitchen and rumpled the bed covers. He even drank all of Daddy's beer. When Daddy comes home Sophie rushes up and tells him all about the tiger. He steps into the bomb-site of a kitchen and sees the madness residing in his wife's bloodshot, puffy eyes. He sees her fists, clenched at her sides, knuckles white. Then they both notice the bread knife on the kitchen table. They re-lock eyes. He thinks for a moment, and then, because he's seen this look before, and because she's closer to the bread knife, he pops his hat back on, grabs Sophie's coat, and suggests they go out for sausage and chips. What a sensible man. 

(On their way home he stops at the off-license and buys a four-pack of Carling. Never let it be said this sensible man is a selfless saint...)




15 comments:

  1. LOVE it! I shall read TTWCTT with a wry, knowing smile in future xx PS Bad day?! ;-)

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    1. Luckily, those days are (mostly) behind me. But, oh how well I remember them!! ;-)

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  2. And to think I thought he was going to use the bread knife on the...tiger...(ps Just LOVED this one - total inspiration)

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  3. Best yet, will be smirking for some time (in the bomb site of a house... the Tiger moved in here a few weeks ago and is yet to leave).

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  4. writeanovelin10minutesflat.wordpress.com17 January 2012 at 10:36

    Manda this is so obviously the correct reading of the story. I have often wondered about it. I wondered what made it so compelling and what made it a classic. So often great stories are great because they can be read and enjoyed in more than one way (sorry I know this is all very obvious). What effs me off is that I didn't work it out for myself. But I'm glad you have. I need to have the world and stories explained. More, please - The Hungry Caterpillar? Cathy x

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  5. love it Manda, you've been to my house then? Funny thing is depending on if I'm working at home or not depends which part I play in this scenario !! x

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  6. W with no P, Gilly, Cathy and Mr Fingers. Thank you all for commenting. What's great about this post and people's reactions, is it is clear that we all have the same Tiger! We now keep bread knives in a locked trunk in the roof! Xxx

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  7. Love it Amanda, so clever and entertaining (and can soo relate!) xx

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  8. I did it! Read them all in one go! Bloody brilliant, espesh Husband v King...Bless him and his hilarious ways! You are very clever my literally literary friend!
    luv y's xx

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  9. Manda ! I know this piece is so so much more than 'pointy sticks' but oh those two words 'got me' !! Legend you are my lady :) xxxx

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  10. What a classic, did anyone else shed a tear in the third paragraph?! I'm glad it's not just my life that is like this and that someone out there understands!

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  11. Ha! Absolutely bloomin' spot on. That one really made me giggle. Thank you sweetie!

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  12. Fabulous! I've had similar thoughts about the book - mum at the end of her tether being the main theme, I think - but this is better than all of them.

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    1. Thanks for the lovely comment, Tasha. I feel a bit like the mum in question today...sadly Daddy drank all his beer on the weekend and so I'm stuck with the usual gallon of tea! ;)

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